It’s been a funny few weeks for this little dude. The level of anxiety rushing through his body has been (and still is) unreal. All he’s wanted to do it stay home, refusing to spend time with his Dad and on the odd occasion when he has he’s come back seeking approval and comfort. Clearly an emotionally confusing time for him and also for me. Watching as the light of my life becomes clingy and unsure is very hard. Trying to figure out why is even harder.
For months now his temperature has randomly spiked, usually riding at 40•. Trips to the doctor bring the usual words (that every parent loves) “it’s a virus”. Sore throats, temperatures, leg pains, night sweats that now require a towel and more recently tummy ache (and dreadful nappies) are par for the course at the moment. Maybe that’s why he’s off balance? Maybe not? Having a child that can’t communicate emotions and feelings is dreadful. Unsure of whether they need the doctor, you either find yourself there all the time, just in case, or not until it’s apparent that they are really poorly. Either way as a parent you feel bad.
As I’m writing this he’s told me that I’ve been good today, so I can have a marble in the jar (a reward system they have in school), so I must be doing something right! I’m sure that I’ll figure out what’s throwing him off soon but until then, I don’t suppose that anyone out there can read minds?!